HUMOR

I love jokes. I love laughing at my own jokes & if other people laugh too that's even better. I love making fun of myself & I love puns about eggs. I love yolks. They crack me up. Sometimes I get scrambled & they're poached or deviled, but even if they're a bit runny - as in my diarrhea yolks - things usually turn out sunny side up.

ORIGINAL JOKES

What did the recovering alcoholic say when the judge offered him a bottle of vodka? “I’ll take the fifth!”

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Do you know how much a pound weighs on the moon? It depends how many dogs are in it.

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Why don’t NFL quarterbacks wear glasses? Everybody knows football is a Contac sport.

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A scribe got fired just because of her blood type. Yeah, it was type-O.

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I never graduated from music school because I funked out.

PUNTOONS

“Puntoons” are short stories that are packed with as many puns as possible relating to a single theme. For example, the Cheese Puntoon to the right incorporates thirty or so cheese puns while telling a story of two young brothers in the middle of an argument. Cheyenne & I are currently making a book of Puntoons that will use the ocean, vegetables, planets, trees, flowers & birds as pun themes for various silly stories.

Let me know if you want a copy of my recent chapbook of original jokes!

a ballsack walks into a bar … & other groan-evoking jokes

Yes, I am a published author in the world of humor. Published so long as typing, printing, folding & stapling a book of jokes together counts as being published. Fine excerpts from this 60-joke collection coming soon…

May 5, 2018

Polaris Star Trail

this final star trail image consists of 180 separate 30-second photographs (f4.5, 3200 ISO) of the night sky. utilizing a tripod, i set the camera to continuous shooting mode and taped the button down for an hour and a half. i then loaded the pictures into photoshop elements and manually made each picture its own layer, then lightened each one. finally, i adjusted the the flattened image’s levels to bring out the stars’ colors & darken the background.

all of the stars seem to rotate around polaris (the north star) because the earth’s axis is in perfect alignment with it. as the earth spins one way, the rest of the planets & stars seem to spin in the opposite direction. from cold to hot, the stars glow red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo & violet. the straight lines that cut across the image are airplanes passing across the sky.

Cut on the Dotted Line

The Matilija Dam outside of Ojai, CA provides simple instructions that salmon would surely follow if their scaled-down dexterity allowed.

May 7, 2018

Cody, Wyoming

There’s wisdom in Wyoming. There’s wisdom wherever you go. It’s up to us to open up & receive the knowledge of others, regardless of our so-called differences. Click the image to visit the Manuscript Across America website and experience the ideas of hundreds of Americans.

May 11, 2018

Himalayan Bricks

Each stone on this Mani Wall has been hand-carved with Buddhist prayers. It stretches for miles & miles along this trail in the Himalaya of northern Nepal. Where creeks cross the path, prayer wheels have been set up that spin with the water’s flow.